The iplayer is an intriguing beast. I have been using it this evening to view HIGNFY and Friday Night with Jonathan Ross, in the absence of what I actually wanted to watch. I had originally intended on viewing Flight of the Conchords’ second season which is meant to have started on BBC Four, but for some reason isn’t on the player. Making do with twin wizened visages of Mr Merton and Mr Ross I came to learn a valuable lesson: people in the music business are, often, not a pleasure to view. This came from the observation of Eminem, who did grow on me even though he seemed to be a tool, and Rolf ‘Rofl’ Harris, who certainly didn’t inspire that reaction in me.
The most interesting view of my rather bland night however occurred as I perused the “More Like This” section underneath the Jonathan Ross program. There were links to a number of episodes of “The Apprentice: You’re Fired” which I wasn’t going to click as I was afraid this was a trick where a foolish individual who clicked on the link would be subsequently send computer plague into their face leaving them with a garish and sizable hole in the base of their skull, with their emulsified brain matter slowly dribbling out. I dislike the Apprentice.
I was, however, drawn to a link for the show Fonn mo Bheatha, and, like greased lightning noting a potential topic for a blog, I clicked on the link to abate my raging interest. What struck me first about Fonn mo Bheatha was its incredibly abrasive opening theme music. When I first heard it I thought: waw, this is horrible. And I was right. The theme seems to be the bastard son of the sort of hollow music that you get in novelty Christmas cards mixed with vocal stylings that could be described as verbal Morris dancing. As this unthinkable blend of madness reaches its conclusion we are greeted by a troll.
I have since found out that this troll’s name is Cathy Ann MacPhee, and I am struck by how difficult it is for me to be horrible to people when I have a name for them. If I didn’t know her name, however, I would probably note that the most striking thing about her is her hair. It is from the past. I had to be sure just how far back in the past it was from so I went and asked my mother. 1980s apparently. Similarly, her clothes seem to share their historic dating with her super-perm, although her trollishness suggests a far more medieval origin for the woman herself.
Having been an absolute prig about the way she looks, I will temper this by informing you that she is famous in Gaelic singing circles, and she also has somewhat of an acting career. During the course of the show she also displays a talent for interviewing that is coloured by her pleasant manner. She also has a Wikipedia page, which is more than can be said of me. She does however, look like she has been superimposed on the show using stock footage of her from the 80s, which is, again, more than can be said of me.
It makes sense that the presenter’s field of expertise is Gaelic song, as this is the focus of the show. Why a show based completely on Gaelic song should be in the “More Like This” section of Jonathan Ross’ show I have no idea, though I am, overall, glad that it was. I wasn’t aware beforehand what the topic of the show was, as I cannot speak Gaelic, and thus the program blurb left much to the imagination. The only piece of information I was able to glean from the brief description was that I could safely assume that a woman named Jenny Cummings was involved. And in terms of that, I wasn’t disappointed.
The guest being interviewed by 1980’s Gaelic Not-Going-to-Call-Her-a-Troll-Again Cathy Ann was none other than Jenny Cummings (exclamation mark). Jenny is famous for, you guessed it, Gaelic singing, as was her mother. We are treated to a number of her songs throughout the show, although in order for this sentence to be honest it is necessary to stretch the definition of treated. I do not wish to be disparaging of Gaelic music as I understand very well the difficulty of protecting and re-nurturing age old traditional Celtic art forms, but it is safe to say that Gaelic song is not for me.
To take another superficial tangent for a moment, it was notable that the strange visual blend of Cathy Ann’s 1980s bland-chic and the more modern Primark-chic being sported by Jenny gave me a feeling of lightheadedness, as though I had stood up too quickly, and also a very weak headache. A lesser man would make a joke either about the headache being the result of the the Gaelic singing and/or the Gaelic language but I am not such a man.
Surprisingly, it was possible to follow the program with ease even with no prior knowledge of Gaelic. It was subtitled. My fondness for Gaelic song was in no way improved by having a five-minute question and answer about how sad it was to leave Harris on the ferry, and a subsequent song on the same topic. I have no idea where Harris is. I also do not know what a ferry is. I don’t even know what “sad” is. Although I have a slight inkling that writing a disparaging blog about Fonn mo Bheatha fits that category.
I did wonder whether I didn’t enjoy the program, at least not for the reasons that the producers would have wanted me to, because of the language gap. I decided this probably wasn’t the case, as I watch a lot of Asian film and television, specifically Japanese. Even though I am, over time, getting a basic grip of the language there is still a formidable amount of language gap there. It must just be the case then that the content of the show wasn’t for me, which isn’t surprising really as it contained only three things: Gaelic song, of which I am not a fan, a Gaelic singer, or which I am not a fan, and another Gaelic singer, which I game more time to since she was younger and better dressed than the other, which I chided myself for and decided that I wouldn’t be a fan of her either. Strangely, if Cathy Ann MacPhee was animated and given a show of her own it might be interesting viewing, as she sort of looks like a grogg brought to life already.
So my conclusion is thus: if BBC Alba want me to watch their shows, and they do, definitely, then they need to change their scheduling so that their Gaelic-specific channel has more to offer people of my demographic; 21 year old Welsh people who enjoy English language comedy and Japanese animation. If they can’t do that then I am very sorry but I am not prepared to meet them halfway. Having said that I did watch most of Fonn mo Bheatha (this blog will win the award for “Most Times ‘Fonn mo Bheatha’ appeared in a blog”) and then subsequently watched Charlie and Lola in Gaelic. It was translated to “Charlie in Lola”, and I am well aware that is not what it means in Gaelic but still…
It must be difficult if the word ‘and’ is always the word ‘in’ in Gaelic. Although it would be very easy to write titles for Gaelic porn parodies.
Butch Cassidy in The Sundance Kid.
Thelma in Louise.
Starsky in Hutch.
Angels in Demons.
It is very easy to write titles for gay Gaelic porn parodies.
No comments:
Post a Comment
How did this make you feel? What did it emphasize?