My shower gel has rather a strange warning on the side. Along with the more regular ‘don’t get it in your eyes’ it carries another, more unexpected warning.
It is a picture of a flame, along with the declaration “Extremely Flammable”.
I am uncertain as to whether this is a description of the actual container or the gel itself, but in all honesty, both options carry their own set of worries.
In all honesty I would prefer that it was the container that presented the fire hazard, as at the very least it is located in an area with constant and swift access to water. That’s the bathroom in case you aren’t certain. The container is unusual for a shower gel receptacle, as usually they are a plastic creation, whereas this particular gel is held within a pressurised canister, for a reason unbeknownst to me. Perhaps this choice has it’s roots in environmental concerns, though aluminium is possibly not far better than plastic. Maybe it’s just to be cool dudes.
The other more worrisome possibility as I mentioned earlier is that it is the gel itself which is extremely flammable. Now I do hope that this is not the case as I have made an active decision not to cleanse myself with paraffin. I would be quite irked if some clever sod had managed to sneak this dangerous product into my toiletries and I had unwittingly laminated myself with extremely flammable liquid essentially turning myself into a living firelighter. I have a lot of respect and admiration for the Fantastic Four, but I do not desire to become the Human Torch. Or even a human torch. I think it is particularly sneaky of them to package this product in a rather sensual teal can in order to fool the busy consumer.
It is perhaps notable that I describe the can itself as ‘sensual’, which is perhaps a feminine adjective to allot an item which is being used on my, male, body. Any gender-specific worries I may have had were easily allayed by the notice ‘for men’ splayed on the front of the can. This was particularly useful for me, as I was uncertain as to whether invigorating black mint was a ‘man’ ingredient. Apparently it is.
Imagine my horror then when I returned to my parents’ house, and upon bathing and cleaning myself with what I believed was the same canister, which it was in shape and size, I then discovered that I had in fact used a different one. My eyes scanned the tin feverishly searching for the tag of confirmation which would assuage my guilt and wrongdoing but alas, it was not there. However I am still uncertain if I have done wrong, as there is no corresponding tag which clarifies for all time whether or not this particular product is ‘for women’. I can only use my powers of multimodal analysis to infer that the deep, visceral purple of the flask assigns it as ‘womanly’.
Oddly, if this product is only for women, I have suffered no ill effects from using the product, and it is particularly worth noting that my skin hasn’t melted from my bones as I had previously worried that it would. I just smelled nice for a bit.
My discovery today then is that enriching jojoba and passionflower is NOT FOR MEN.
But you can use it if you want to. You’ll just smell of enriching jojoba and passionflower for a bit.
