Coca-Cola and Jesus

I had the glorious opportunity to come into contact with what is described by the company as the 'Mission, Vision & Values' of the Coca-Cola Company.

If you can fathom with little wonder that these things exist in the first place then mayhap you are too credulous an individual.  Or maybe it is my own cynicism that is at play.

If you want to read this outline in its original location you can find it here.

Bloody ridiculous advertising.

Also in the realms of my cynical take on shrewd advertising, someone who was at the head of a powerful PR machine was your man JC.  He was able to ensure that all the middle eastern academics of the time were toiling away recording his parables in the Journal of New Religious Thought and Message (Luke et al, 150ishAD).  This highly anecdotal piece of ancient journalism is more commonly known as 'Teh Beeblay'.  I recently found out that sources within the Bible itself disagree on the names of the 12 disciples, which possibly informs us that the rest of the 'information' in the Bible is perhaps less than reliable.

The rag-tag band of religious heroes are, possibly, as follows then:

Jesus: a wizard.

Peter: Jesus' cousin.

Andrew: Jesus' cousin.

James and John: the sons of Zebedee.

Simon the Zealot: He was zealous.

Philip: He was from the 'West Sa-ee-d' of Galilee

Bartholomew: Once told Jesus to eat his shorts.

Matthew: the Tax Collector (Boo/Hiss).

Judas: not the one you're thinking of.

James the Less: a disciple hard done by and finally:

Judas: the one you're thinking of.

This is a picture I drew as a summary.

The most important message to take from the Bible then is this:

Women should not indulge in infidelity, but if they do, it is better that they should be stoned.

Of course if this simply isn't enough Bible for you, maybe you would be interested in buying an anthology of Bible Rap.

Or if you have some common sense then maybe you'd rather some Tim Minchin.

I'll take my leave with dignity afore this becomes silly.