Fiction of a Political and Scientific Nature

The title of ‘most annoying news article of the day’ is shared between articles from the BBC and the Guardian today, though it seems self-defeating to award this prize, as they are the only news sources I habitually check.

The BBC article that has caused some annoyance to me is one that states:

“The Electoral Commission has said it will not be able to police the expected explosion in spoof internet videos at the next general election.”

What throws me slightly about this claim is that it is based on the presumption that spoof videos should be ‘policed’, as surely that would be quite a shocking example of censorship. The article doesn’t really go into details with regards to what constitutes a ‘spoof video’. This interests me quite a lot as I have written a sketch that is essentially a mock party political broadcast, and it intrigues me that if they could, the Electoral Commission would attempt to pull it. I could of course be misunderstanding exactly what sort of policing they had in mind, and it doesn’t really affect me directly as the sketch doesn’t exist as yet, but I reserve the right to follow in the proud British tradition of grossly overreacting to nothing in particular.

“complaints about potentially defamatory material, under electoral laws, remain a matter for the police and that cases will be investigated”.

The article fails to define the term ‘defamatory’, whose synonyms range from ‘insulting’ to ‘libellous’. While I agree that genuinely libellous claims are damaging, surely merely insulting videos are hardly a ‘matter for the police’? Or maybe I am just a desensitised cynic. We’ll take my sketch as a case in point.

Regardless of whether you believe the sketch would be funny, I am interested in whether it could be considered ‘defamatory’. It was meant to be a short sketch, opening on a shot of a chubby man sitting behind a desk, looking pristine in a suit. Without saying anything the man would then begin to growl softly, slowly building up to a crescendo where he starts barking, jumps onto the desk and eventually attacks the camera. The sketch would then end with a voice over disclaiming “this was a party political broadcast for the ”. I was wondering whether this sketch, which is clearly meant to be comedic in nature (whether you would be amused by it or not) would be considered ‘defamatory’ and removed. I hope not, otherwise I’d have to become righteously indignant along lines of free speech, harrumph.

The other article which rubbed me up the wrong way is one in which the Booker Prize, and more specifically its perceived bias toward historical or ‘worthy’ novels, was discussed. The article retold the opinions of one Kim Stanley Robinson, who I am told (by the article) is a well famous sci-fi author all up. He believes that the genre of sci-fi is tragically overlooked by people who are predisposed to judge sci-fi as being of no artistic merit. He believes that “the best British literature of our time” is based in sci-fi, and believes that there are “very brilliant writers doing excellent work who are never in the running at all, for no reason except their genre”.

I am not a huge fan of sci-fi, having grown up reading more fantasy-based swords and sorcery novels, and taken quite a sharp turn into straight fiction as an ‘adult’, but the sci-fi novels that I have read have all been utterly wonderful, however they have all been classics. So while I think that ‘I am Legend’ and ‘Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep’ are magnificent and thought provoking works, I’m not really in a position to comment on more contemporary sci-fi works, which is why I shall be reacquainting myself with the genre in the near-future. Whether or not Kim Stanley Robinson has a point, though I would argue he does, what aggravates me the most is the reply from Booker judge and all-around-numpty John Mullan.

Now what is particularly worth bearing in mind when you read the quotation I am about to provide, is that John Mullan is a Professor of English at University College London, and, therefore, should know better. In regards to why sci-fi isn’t better represented he says:

"When I was 18 it was a genre as accepted as other genres," he said, but now "it is in a special room in book shops, bought by a special kind of person who has special weird things they go to and meet each other."

Now the words I would pick out of that sentence as being of note are ‘special’ and in particular ‘weird’. People who read sci-fi are, apparently, “a special kind of person who has special weird things they go to”. I’d say that statement is hardly more intelligent than the childish labeling of people as ‘nerds’ and ‘freaks’ whilst in school. He is essentially saying “Oh of course there’s no sci-fi in the Booker, sci-fi is for weirdos”. What a knob.

If it was less depressing it would be amusing that someone holding a position at a University, who I would hope to be slightly less close-minded, would view a section of the public in that way. The way in which he describes readers of sci-fi sounds as though they have some kind of dubious sexual fetish. Of course I have fallen into my own trap there, by marginalizing individuals with a colourful sexual preference, which I have only done so that I am able to highlight this mistake in this sentence you are reading here. Huzzah, I am the King of self-referential meta-bloggery.

John Mullan seals his fate by denouncing the complaints as “absolute bullshit” at the end. I have no problem with University Professors swearing, but it hardly lends credence to your opinions, and makes you look like a reactionary dunce, cloaking the fact that you have no real evidence to back up your claims with aggressive language.

Schaa~ I am tempted to end this on a hilariously ironic fit of swearing to send up my own conclusion, but I like my last sentence so much, I shan’t.

You twonk.

Ghibli with Excitement

The media often cocks up royally, other times it is merely my pedantry that fuels my frustration with it.

There is a piece in the Guardian today discussing how Hayao Miyazaki, and Studio Ghibli more generally, haven’t been able to achieve the same gargantuan successes they have had all over the world, in America. This comes with the impending American release of Ponyo on the Cliff by the Sea, Ghibli’s newest offering. The statistics they provide suggest that the films of Ghibli still make millions of dollars in cinema revenue, but in the bloated and obscene industry of blockbuster films, making millions is laughable. A film has to break the hundreds of millions for anyone to be in the least interested, and Ghibli do this regularly, if the article is correct, in Japan and Europe, just not in America.

Now part of the reason that Japanese anime in general might not make so much money in America is because of the underground masses of fansubbers that exist, meaning that the vast millions upon millions of fans of anime in the English speaking world will have seen the film well before its release. The attractiveness of this setup is that you would get to experience the film, free (though illegally, remember) with the original Japanese cast, with subtitles provided lovingly, and therefore more reliably, by fans, rather than by paid subbers who, if history is any judge, either make hideous mistakes and / or just don’t give a shit. One such example is the All Your Base phenomenon which was one of the very first internet memes, ah, I remember you fondly. Similarly, though a number of commendable studios are making a stand against this, dubs have a habit of being phlegm-inducingly awful. I recently watched a series where, in the Japanese version, a character had a high, childish voice, and in the American version, the same character’s speech was throaty and grizzled. Overlooking the fact that the American acting was also awful, that is casting at its very worst, either incompetent or completely uncaring. Having said that, with the successes of Disney / Pixar and animated medium as a whole, “proper” actors are more likely to take on voice roles, though America has its share of good voice actors, my personal favourites being Joe DiMaggio (Bender, Marcus Fenix, Wakka) and Vic Mignogna (Edward Elric, Tamaki Suou, Madarame Ikkaku). This is probably where I reveal that I have met Vic Mignogna, who is a lovely man.

For some insane reason certain American studios feel it necessary to cut and re-edit entire films, and in so doing, turn them into so much arse water. One example of this is Casshan, edited by an American studio from a four part OVA into a feature length film, which necessitated an upheaval of 1) the order of scenes, 2) the pacing of the entire piece and 3) the fucking story. I was relieved to find that the original 4 episodes are on the DVD in their original form, as the American version, roughly 2 minutes in, after attempting to build up tension and intrigue as to the whereabouts of the titular Casshan, had him reveal himself with the intelligence insulting line “I AM CASSHAN!”

Miyazaki received the same treatment when he brought early titles to America, notably Nausicaa Valley of the Wind, which in its original form is a sci-fi masterpiece. It was felt that it was ruined when an American studio fucked around with it and released it to the American public, and further English speaking world, as See, Isn’t That Better Now We’ve Rubbed Our Dicks on the Work of a Genius? Luckily, the original Nausicaa was properly released years later, in 2005. People learnt to stop fucking with Ghibli films after an American editor / burke suggested editing Princess Mononoke to make it more marketable for an American audience. Miyazaki sent a katana to the studio with a written message on it saying “No cuts”. And that is why Hayao Miyazaki is a million times more hardcore than Quentin Tarantino. A proper katana. But that is to be expected from a man whose name sounds like something you would shout as you slashed someone. Hayao!

Now I am not an American, but as a British individual whose first language is English, I feel I am lumped in when editors feel they have to tone down something to make it more marketable. I am insulted by this, as though the editors are saying “Look, the Japanese right, they are fucking mad as a million Mad Hatters, and clever to boot. We’re going to tone down this film so you are able to understand it, because you are well stupid aren’t you? Yes you are! Yes you are!” In reality, the editors themselves simply don’t understand it. Which perhaps is understandable, they aren’t artists, they aren’t working closely to the individuals who originally imagined the piece, it would be difficult to tap into the same creative spring. However, this doesn’t give them the right to arse around with it and make it a billion times worse.

You shouldn’t get an editor saying “Hay, those cubes are cool as fuck, but look here Picasso, it just isn’t marketable”.

I don’t think you should dumb things down for an audience, it just breeds laziness and stupidity. As comedian Stewart Lee said: “The jokes are in there, some of you are just going to have to raise your game”. To give an inappropriately hubristic exemplum; I performed at an open mic night yesterday, and when I got off an old man congratulated me, but told me that my material was “almost too clever”. While it is lovely to have your ego stroked by an old man (and only my ego, please), I don’t want to feel as though the British public are unable to keep up with my jokes. They really aren’t that clever. And neither are my jokes! (hur hur hur).

The piece in the Guardian says that Ghibli have recruited big names to voice act in the English version of the film, in order to widen the appeal. It certainly is true, and a good thing, with people like Liam Neeson acting in it, though I imagine I will have to grit my teeth through the yelpings of a knock-off Jonas and Miley Cyrus’ brother. But the article makes it sound as though this is a new strategy, where, in reality, Ghibli have been able to attract top class acting for ages, with the re-release of Nausicaa starring Patrick Stewart, Uma Thurman, Shia LeBeouf and Luke Skywalker.

In the comment section of the Guardian piece there are a number of people who share my views, with some people suggesting also that they look forward to seeing it in cinema. I doubt it will make it to screens here in Wales, though if I am wrong, I will be there.

My main gripe with the entire importing process is the underlying belief that because it is from Japan it is kooky and mad and we won’t understand. This is highlighted by people who believe that Japan is a crazy place, and everyone there is a mental. It is short-sightedness on the part of individuals who believe this, the only part of Japanese culture the English speaking world are shown is the “panties-in-a-vending-machine” and “crazy gameshow” side of things, overlooking the fact that those things are likely viewed as mad over there. I am not arguing that there are not differences between English language cultures and the Japanese, just that the differences are played upon hugely and as such they are exaggerated. It is the same with any culture that we have limited knowledge, and therefore understanding, of. Everyone in Russia wears a big furry hat and does Cossack dances while chugging on vodka, everyone in France wanders around in a stripy black and white top and a beret smoking wistfully, and everyone in Africa is starving. This we know, because they are stereotypes, and it is easier to believe them than view people as human beings. You never know when you might have to go to war with them after all, and it is far easier to kill stereotypes than human beings, as any propaganda machine won’t tell you.

To refer back to the main topic of the Guardian piece, and provide a structural end point for what has been a messy and rambling entry: I look forward to seeing Ponyo by the Cliff by the Sea. Ghibli have been responsible for some amazing stories over the years, told beautifully. I am not an overly emotional viewer, but the ending of Only Yesterday had me struggling to breathe, as I had forgotten how my face and throat worked in my attempts to not cry.

Here’s an additional piece of blog trivia for you as an extra as well: it was the Ghibli film Whisper of the Heart that made me start taking writing far more seriously. Lucky you, eh?